walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
