the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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