hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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