There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Operation Purity has been aborted
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
