soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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