i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
