How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
