i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
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