If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
