My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
