Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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