i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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