White coat. Heels.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
not ubering you a puppy
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
