just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize