youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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