blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
