the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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