his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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