i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
