The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize