I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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