people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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