Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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