Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Randomize
