It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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