I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
