he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
