i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
