I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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