My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
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