ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
