Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
