I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
