whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize