I smell stomach acid.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
