so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
