Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Randomize
