We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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