i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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