And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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