Dude my mom stole all your condoms
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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