and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Randomize
