Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We have started to decorate penises.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
