He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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