its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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