Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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