I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize