Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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