I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
