five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Randomize