Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Randomize
