It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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