I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize