in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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