Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
