i permit you to call me
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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