I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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