Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
