Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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