Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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