so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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