Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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